Not often do I share my true personal thoughts and feelings but on this day I am. On this day I have been struggling more then others and I have always done better when writing about it. Without getting into the nitty gritty here is just the basis of my recent thoughts.
I am not faithful. Why would he bless me if I am not faithful like I should be? Does God love each of his children more then the other? Does he have a favorite? I am one that has been use to being Grandma's favorite or actually enjoying the company of my teachers, some call that a brown noser but I have really always liked my teachers. Although, I long for it with my whole heart I never feel there, I always feel a plant away.
Don't get me wrong I know I have been plenty blessed with an amazing husband and every point of my pregnancy with Gracie and getting her here. So I have seen the blessings poor in, I have had those moments where I have seen his work in my life thru high school and college. In hard lessons and thru struggles, I have seen his blessings, grace and love. Sometimes I feel like I have not had a close moment in along time one that makes me feel close to him. Like when you have not connected with a friend in a while but after that good conversation whether thru email, phone or over coffee. Your heart feels full, joyful and again FULL of love. I just want to sit down with a warm cup of Joe and talk and feel that closeness that I so need right now.
I assume and maybe I am wrong you have felt this way too, at least I hope someone else understands where I am coming from, I pray this is a struggle I conquer. This is one struggle I do not want to battle my whole life.
a continual reminder of what i can be thankful for each day
4 comments:
I hear you, sister. I'm often right there, too.
Well put Candace, we all have these moments (whether a day or years, God so faithful to help us pass them.)
I totally know what you're saying. Sometimes it takes a while, but it's worth the wait. Where does it say... that when we are not faithful, God is still faithful because he can't be untrue to himself. He's faithful, even if it isn't our timing.
I totally know what you're saying. Sometimes it takes a while, but it's worth the wait. Where does it say... that when we are not faithful, God is still faithful because he can't be untrue to himself. He's faithful, even if it isn't our timing.
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