This is a Hard One

Warning the below info may just be too personal for some people but I felt maybe it would help others.

For you to fully understand what I want to share I must start from the beginning.  I am sure it is no secret from previous blogs, from the very beginning, that getting pregnant has never come easy for me.  For three years I had been off the pill, this time included dealing with a minor surgery of having a cysts drained, medicine to help the size of another cyst go down, and 15 months of trying later we were pregnant with Gracie.  Although the over all pregnancy with Gracie went well there was the minor complication of the surgery at 5 months.  Considering pregnancy issues don’t run in my family, the thought never crossed my mind that I might have a problem.  I thought I would be the girl who got pregnant on her honeymoon night or 3 months after her baby was born.  Nope, not me.

            This summer again after having issues I decided to go to my doctor.  When having to work around football schedules it makes things a little harder and some doctors seem to think you are crazy for caring.  I needed to know if something was wrong before we wasted a year, I want to know what to we could fix.  When I got pregnant the first time I had been on the pill for just the month before because they again thought it would minimize the size of my cyst.  I was told those hormones most likely gave me the levels I needed to get pregnant.  SO, I thought I would go in, see the doctor and just talk, just to make myself feel better.  In September 2010, I found out my thyroid level was fine but that I had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome(POS)(read this link which explains perfectly).  The extremes of POS vary from each person.  Interesting enough the first time I was introduced to POS was the summer after Gracie was born.  I found out 2 people I knew had it, both there situations similar.  I had read up on POS and thought there was no way I would have it considering I have only 1 of the symptoms listed.  I brushed it a side until September, when I went to the doctor.  My one symptom besides blood work is the number of cyst I get, anyone surprised?  Sadly there is nothing I can to do to prevent them.  Obviously we are months from September.  All the medicine I have taken and all the methods I have followed have not helped in the least.  All of our tests come back perfect, which I think is worse.  I'd rather there be a problem we can try and fix.  When there is not problem, how do they know where to start to fix what is not broken?   I did not even know secondary infertility existed. All of this along with life has just been a lot at times.

Even though there are a lot of other details I could share there is not a need for those but I have been reading a couple blogs regarding women who have had fertility issues much greater then mine.  I know I am lucky I got one and although I am hoping for another it may not come in the form I am hoping.  That being said we are looking and investigating other options.  Praying about what options to take next, what is our next step?  Interesting enough I will most likely share a little bit about this next step of our lives.  Although even doing this now seems odd and strange to share these personal details.  I don’t have a problem talking about them in general but I can’t see your facial expressions and this is a vulnerable step.  I am stepping way out of my comfort zone for this one and this has been sitting in my post for about 2 months to be published. 
There are some friends out there that I love dearly that I have not shared this with mainly because I just have not had the chance so please don't be offended, and I never know how to bring up, it seems to be such a downer on the normal conversation so I tend to leave it out.