Blessed

Today marks week 40, my due date.  I only thought it appropriate to post my thoughts.

This pregnancy has been so different for me emotionally.  Many know that I have had a very hard time this time around with my emotions.  This could be due to hormones and/or any other contributors but either way I struggled.  By the end of the pregnancy I just wanted the baby out and safe in my arms.  I know that sounds strange to think this world is safe but having something happen in the last week would just kill me and with all the stories right now I was a little stressed about this baby coming and wanting everything to be ok.  The post partum part of pregnancy with both Gracie and Nolan are hard on me.  My body is a mess.  My hormones are changing, I am tired, my body is losing weight and there are just so many changes that emotionally I feel all over the place but in this time comes a lot of reflection on so many areas of my life.

Tonight, the four of us went out for a walk and my mind jumped from thought to thought.  As I watched Troy run around with Gracie I thought I can't believe this is who I married, I can't believe I turned him down the first time he asked me out.  As I told Troy my thoughts I just could not believe how much has changed and how blessed I was to have him.  This evening consisted of a lot of thankful prayers of how blessed I was to have such a great husband who loves and cares for me even when I am crying for no reason.  I have two healthy kids, a great husband, a home and a loving family.  I remember all to well thinking about what my future would look like, who I would marry, what my kids and my life would look like.  God has blessed me beyond anything I could have ever dreamed of and I don't thank him enough for all that he has done for me and all the blessings he has given to me and continues to bestow upon me and my family.  I now just pray that he protects my family because there is only so much I can control and only so much I can see.